My Baby Pictures

My mom recently pulled out some cute baby pictures of me to compare how much Hayley looks like me. Here are some:

Me and Jacob - I am nine months and Jacob is 3

Me at 4 months

Not sure how old I am here, but under a year

Again at 4 months, the back of the picture says, but I am sitting up!

I am 8 days old here

So, whatdya think? I think she looks so much like me, just not in the eyes. She's got Dave's eyes.

Baby Mama Group Photo Session

Today my Baby Mama group, all 8 of us, went to get the babies' pictures taken together. It was so insane and quite a site with all those strollers! It sure was fun though! Unfortunately, my child was the one that cried the ENTIRE time! :( Poor thing - not sure what her deal was, but she was not happy. Here are some highlights...

Starting at Hayley and going left: Hayley, Miles, Gretchen, Graysen, Olivia, Dylan, Alexa, Cole.

The only way she wouldn't cry was with the pacifier in her mouth. :(

GoodBye TopCoder

Today is a day of mixed feelings. I got laid off. I have never been laid off before. I don't think I know what to feel.

I wasn't near my phone and missed 2 calls from the office. I called back assuming it was Jessie, to have her instead tell me that TopCoder was doing a mass of lay-offs. I said I saw you called me twice and she said, nope, I didn't call you. So we both knew I was one to go. Not 15 minutes later my phone rang again and it was the president calling to give me the news. I think he was surprised at how well I took it, but I am not surprised. I also know it is not me and I did nothing wrong. I was one of almost 30 people. I am so sad to leave TopCoder because they were such a great company to work for. They treated their employees so well and gave me so much flexibility with Hayley, like working from home and making flexible hours. It will be almost impossible to find another company who will give me those perks. I will miss the TCO in Vegas this June. I will miss Jessie. Talking to her everyday is like free therapy. I will miss that the most.

On the other side of the coin, I wanted to stay home with Hayley anyway and had to go back for financial reasons. Now that I no longer can, I get to be home with my daughter for this very crucial time in her life. I found the silver lining. It was not too hard. I am also lucky to have an amazing husband with a great, stable job.

I am sure I will go back to work, and I will immediately start the job hunt. But I think I will be ok with collecting unemployment with the other 1.5 million Americans for a couple months.

We will make it work.

Last Night

Last night Dave was closing so it was just me and my bundle of joy! We had dinner - sweet potatoes and rice cereal - and then played in the living room for awhile. She got pretty fussy, but it was still pretty early so we went upstairs and practiced rolling on our bed for a bit. Finally at about 7:20, she couldn't take it anymore and off to bed we went. I nursed her and she went into her crib peacefully and easily. Here's the big deal - she slept until 3:30 this morning! A whole 8 hours. It was awesome. I hope that this is a sign of what is coming. Also, 2 nights ago, Hayley cried for almost a half an hour before she fell asleep, so it was really nice to know that the sleep training is still working.

Yeah! I hope for more nights like these in the future...

Some New Pictures - 6 Months

Hayley is officially 6 months old! It's amazing how fast the time has gone. I look at pictures of her and I can't believe how much she has changed already! Here are some new pictures to enjoy her as much as I do!

Can you tell it was freezing out?

Hayley loves Josie so much! Everytime she sees her she squeals with delight and reaches out to touch her!

Hayley in the Snow

I finally got a good day to take Hayley out and "play" in the snow. She kind of just sat there, but I had fun taking pictures at least! We went over to the Leone's and the boys really loved having her there. Here she is riding in Sam's sled. I'm not sure if she was just cold or what, but I couldn't get a smile out of her for the life of me!
I finally got a cute picture of me with Hayley!

Hayley and the boys...

TFM - Final Post

I have become quite bored with posting daily results, as I am sure my readers have as well. Things are going well, though not perfect. Dave and I are ironing out the kinks and I think within a month or so she'll be set in a good pattern - for nap and night. Not sure if that will include sleeping through the night, but getting up only once is totally fine with me. I just want her sleeping through the night by Marco. That's April, so I think that is a totally reasonable request.

One More...

This picture is a good showing of why I decided to cut it - see, it's hanging in her eyes and everything!

The Puzzle

On New Years Eve, Dave and I started a monster of a puzzle. It is 1500 pieces, all of a thousand different colors of yarn. It was very hard and we have been working feverishly on it every night while we listen to Hayley cry it out. We finally finished today. Now we can eat at our dining room table again! Yeah!

Hayley's First Haircut

I decided that Hayley's hair was starting to look too much like a Donald Trump comeover, and took it upon myself to give it a trim. Here is the result: (she is saying, Mommy, what have you done to me?!) Needless to say, Hayley has now had her official First Haircut! Here is her certificate and a picture!

TFM Day 7

Last night went great. Nothing to write about...except she was up at 6 this morning raring to go...We may have to adjust her bedtime.

TFM - Day 5

Last night Hayley fell asleep nursing at 7:40. i tried to wake her as best I could before sticking her in the crib. She woke up at 10:00ish fussing and I went it and turned on her ocean sounds and hushed her. She fell asleep and woke up to nurse at 1:30. She fussed in the crib for about a minute and then went right back to sleep. She awoke again at 4 and Dave brought her to me to nurse. At 5, I put her back in the crib and she fussed for about 30 seconds and went back to sleep until 7:40. Yeah! First night with no crying at all.

Today starts my 3 full days home with her, so we are starting naps. This will be harder for me, I think, and this morning, she cried - hard - for 5 minutes. Dave went in and checked on her and left after about a minute. She fell right to sleep after that and unfortunately it only lasted 30 minutes. We will try again around noon. Wish me luck!

New Pictures!

Since I've been posting crazy blogs everyday about sleeping, I figured I'd take a break and post a couple new pictures.

I thought this was so cute!

Chelsea and Matt came to visit after New Years since we hadn't seen them in a long time and Matt had only met Hayley once. They stayed a couple nights and it was a blast. I of course had to take pictures to capture and remember this moment.

Playing in her Einstein mat and with a book...

TFM - Day 4

Last night started out well....

She went down at 7:40 like usual, and like she has been every other night, she wakes up after about a half an hour and the crying starts...But not last night, she stayed alseep!!!! But she awoke at 10:40 and wanted to nurse, so I did. She cried when I put her in the crib for less then 5 minutes, I didn't even need to go in and check on her. She slept all the way until 5 am!!!! Woo Hoo!!! Dave was up, so her got her and brought her to me. She nursed and then we slept together in my bed until our usual wake time, 7:20.

All in all, I can say it was good. Just the in bed with me part was kind of cheating, but I couldn't resist..It was 5 am!

Today I am home, and for the next 4 days. So I will be working on the naps now. This morning was a bit tough, but she is sleeping now, so we'll see how the rest of the day goes.

The Ferber Method - Day 3

Well, last night was probablythe toughest night so far. Surprising, since it was night 3, but here is what happened. I put her down as usual, and she fell asleep, and awoke about 30 minutes later and began to cry. I went in after 5 minutes, like i was supposed to, and the next step was 8 minutes. So I set the timer. Withing the 8 minutes, she started to calm down, so when the timer went off, I didn't go in, but about 2-3 minutes later, she got hysterical again, so I went in and checked on her. I then set the timer for 10 minutes. The same thing happened, she dort of calmed down, but not asleep, so I didn't go in. Then she got hysterical again, so I went in a couple minutes later. Finally after 39 total minutes from when she started crying, she did eventually stop and fall asleep. I think last night was the hardest for me, too. I wanted to go in and hug her so tight and tell her I love her and I didn't. I felt horrible.

Thankfully, Dave and I have been working on a huge difficult puzzle to keep us distracted when she cries, so I don't have to just sit there and listen to her.

Anyway, she awoke at 1:30 to nurse and was up until about 2:00. After she was done nursing, I stuck her back in her crib, and not a peep, and she slept unti l7:30, when I actually had to wake her up.

Talked to Ann on the phone yesterday and she told me to let go of the guilt, as have Shelley and others, so I'm letting it go....slowly.

Ferberizing seems to still be working...

The Ferber Method - Day 2

Well we weren't sure if we were going to be able to continue this since Hayley was sick for my mom yesterday, but by the time we got home, she was happy as a clam and totally normal. So we did Day 2. I put her down as usual at 7:30 and she went right to sleep. She woke up about 8:00 and I went in and reasurred her. She cried for 5 minutes, check, 8 minutes, check, 10 minutes, didn't check because she was just about out. She probably didn't even need the check after the 8 minutes because she was quieting down, but I checked anyway and she calmed down soon afterward. She slept until 3:45 this morning! It is a record!!! Dave woke up at 3:30 and asked me if she'd been up yet, I said no. I had also slept through until then as well. Once she got up, though, she was happy and rested and not wanting to go back down. So I nursed her and when I put her back in the crib, she cried for about 5 minutes. I went back in and picked her up and nursed her again - I guess I was thinking she might still be hungry, and I guess she was b/c she nursed for 10 more minutes! Then I put her back in the crib, told her night-night and that I loved her, and she cried for about 3 minutes. Then she was out until 7:20 this morning.

Though I am thrilled that this is working, I just want to say, I know she won't remember, but emotionally it is heartbreaking that I have to listen to my daughter cry - even for 3 minutes. I feel hugely guilty that we did this to her and caused her to be so dependant on us to fall asleep and now she is being punished. It's not her fault, it's ours, but now she cries, not us. It just isn't right. I guess this is just something I need to get over as a parent...

The Ferber Method - Day 1

If you have been keeping up with the blog, you will know that we have had lots of problems with Hayley sleeping. Well, I went out and bought the Ferber book and have read it cover to cover, and read outloud crucial parts of the book to Dave. He also seemed really into it. We decided we were going to do it, and though this method is quite controversial, it is much less torturous then people think. We jumped right into it and started.

Last night, she cried for 3 minutes, check, 5 minutes, check, 10 minutes, check, 10 minutes, she was just about asleep, so no check. She slept for an hour and a half. Cried for 3 minutes, check, 5 minutes, check, and asleep before the 1o minute check. She slept until 3:15ish and nursed. I put her back in the crib, fully expecting her to cry. After 2 minutes, I heard her talking and laughing and cooing in the crib. I didn't go in and after less then 10 minutes, she was back asleep. She slept until 7:25 this morning. Best night sleep she's had in a month. Not me though, I couldn't help checking on her a million times to make sure she was still breathing.

We'll see how day 2 goes, and how napping goes today - she's home with mom.

The Jumperoo

After Hayley took her fall on Christmas in the Johnny Jumper, we decided to get a stationary jumperoo. She LOVES it and bounces like crazy. She's just slightly too short for it, so we had to put a blanket underneath to stabalize her feet. Someone else likes the jumperoo, too.